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Unmet Needs

Updated: Feb 18

Our needs are complex and multifaceted. While the specifics may vary from person to person, here is a list of everyday needs that, when unmet, can lead to dissatisfaction or distress:



Physiological Needs:

  • Adequate nutrition, water, sleep, and physical health.

  • Shelter and a safe living environment.

Safety and Security:

  • Personal safety and protection from harm.

  • Financial stability and job security.

  • Health and wellness.

Belonging and Connection:

  • Social relationships and a sense of belonging.

  • Intimacy, love, and emotional support.

  • Friendship and a community of like-minded individuals.

Esteem and Recognition:

  • Recognition for achievements and contributions.

  • Self-respect and a positive self-image.

  • Feeling valued by others.

Autonomy and Control:

  • Independence and the ability to make choices.

  • Control over one's own life and decisions.

  • Freedom to express oneself.

Competence and Mastery:

  • Opportunities for personal growth and learning.

  • Feeling competent in one's endeavors.

  • Challenging and meaningful tasks.

Meaning and Purpose:

  • A sense of purpose and direction in life.

  • Contributions to a more significant cause or community.

  • Fulfillment through meaningful activities

Adventure and Novelty:

  • Variety and excitement in life.

  • Novel experiences and exploration.

  • Creativity and the opportunity for new challenges

Stimulation and Learning:

  • Intellectual stimulation and curiosity.

  • Opportunities for ongoing learning and development.

  • Exposure to new ideas and perspectives.

Appreciation and Recognition:

  • Feeling acknowledged and appreciated.

  • Positive feedback and affirmation from others.

  • Recognition for efforts and achievements.

Equity and Fairness:

  • Fair treatment and justice in personal and societal interactions.

  • Equality and non-discrimination.

  • A sense of fairness in relationships and communities.

Freedom and Independence:

  • Autonomy and the ability to make choices independently.

  • Freedom from oppressive influences or constraints.

Closeness and Intimacy:

  • Emotional closeness and connection with others.

  • Intimate relationships that provide emotional support.

  • Trust and vulnerability in relationships.



This list isn't exhaustive; feel free to add to it.


It's important to note that these needs are interconnected, and their importance may vary for each individual. Just because you don't need freedom and independence doesn't mean your partner also doesn't need it.  Understanding and addressing unmet needs can contribute to personal growth, improved well-being, and stronger relationships. Seeking support from friends, family, or professionals can also be helpful in addressing these needs. To improve your relationship, identify your top 5 needs and communicate to your partner how you feel when those needs are unmet or met. Sometimes, merely expressing our needs can be enough to help our partner fulfill them. They may not have realized how important it was for us, especially if it was not necessary to them.


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