Unhealthy Relationships

How to identify them in your life?

While it can be easy to spot unhealthy relationships in the life of a friend or family member, it is sometimes difficult to identify the same in our lives. I remember having conversations with a relative who would give multiple concrete examples of how a relative was taking advantage of her sister but her sister could not see it. She was flabbergasted that what was so clear to her was not to her sister. Her desire to protect her sister was strong and she was hurt by every instance of abuse. Ironically, this relative had someone in her life with almost identical patterns that she could not see. There was always an excuse, reason, or rationale for the negative behavior. At a young age, I learned that we could not always rely on our own judgment in some situations.

Our love for someone can literally cause us to be blind, to assume that they would never really do anything to hurt us, or that they will only go so far. We have seen and heard about toxic relationships and unhealthy relationships. How about relationships where there is a difference of opinion on a major issue? Where do those fall? Can you be in a relationship with someone who disagrees with you on several topics? It depends on the issues, the relationship, and your willingness to focus on the love you have for each other in spite of the difference. This is not a relationship that physically, mentally, financially, or spiritually causes you harm.

Knowing what healthy relationships look like and how they make you feel helps you to identify the opposite. Here are five signs of both.

1. You are safe - physically, emotionally, financially, and spiritually

2. You are accepted for who you are

3. You are supported

4. You are allowed to grow and evolve without being a prisoner of your past

5. You are encouraged to be the best version of yourself

1. They isolate you from your friends and family

2. They are jealous

3. They are controlling your life

4. They hurt you - physically, emotionally, financially, or spiritually

5. They are threatened by your growth and development