How Well Do You Sleep Together?

Does your quality of sleep impact your relationship with your spouse?

This is what I imagine sleeping with my husband to be. Getting in bed at night and snuggling into his chest is one of my favorite parts of the day. All of the stress, frustration, angst, or uncertainty I experienced that day seemingly melts away and I feel safe, secure, and at peace. Usually, I want to talk a bit longer than he does or can last, which doesn’t bother me most nights. Especially if I am able to fall asleep before he falls into a deep sleep.


If not, this happens. Worse than the snoring is the uncertainty of how long it will keep me up at night. Depending on how tired I am, I am able to read or listen to music until I am able to drift off to sleep myself. If it’s bad and I’m really tired, I will gently nudge him to roll over. I have been frustrated enough to wake him up.



Regardless of how bad it has gotten, I have not left the bed to sleep apart. While I recall watching movies or hearing examples of friends sleeping apart, I have resisted that option. Once we are both asleep, there is an indescribable peace. And the bliss from waking up in his arms in the morning usually makes the sleepless night worth it.


While I have never tried the options below, I can understand the exasperation expressed in the pictures. From both sides!


This Ted Talk on sleep offers a few alternatives for those desperate to get some sleep.

  1. You could lie in bed together until your spouse falls asleep, then get up and continue with your evening activities until you are ready to go to sleep.

  2. You could wake up early to start your day and return to bed when your spouse is ready to wake up.

  3. Sleeping apart for a phase in your marriage should be a part of the discussion without any stigma.

Regardless of what you need to do to ensure that you are both getting proper amounts of sleep, prioritizing sleep is investing in your marriage.